Homosexuality

I haven't written a post here in a long long time. I've been busy, but I also haven't had that much to write. But this week I have been inundated with all the news and commentary about the recent suicides of gay teens after incessant bullying, teasing, and internet-outing. Tonight, on Glee of all things, the character Kurt, who is gay, was talking about his belief (or really lack thereof) in God, and said "[God] makes me gay and then makes His followers go around saying it's a choice, as if I'd choose to be mocked every day of my life." I've been saying that for years (the part about no one choosing a sexuality that results in such pain and ridicule), but not to the right people. This is probably because most people I know are already supportive of equality. I just don't understand why this isn't a logical statement to everyone. I've heard people get stuck on the "but it's wrong according to the Bible" thing. Fine. If you believe the Bible like that, fine. I disagree, but regardless, let God judge them for it, not you.

But bigger than a lack of acceptance and a lack of equality is the slippery slope that it leads to. Simply saying "I disagree with the lifestyle" (which I hate, by the way, because it portrays sexuality as a lifestyle choice) has greater harm than it sounds. Denying rights for marriage or serving in the military preaches to our children that there is something wrong with homosexuality. And really, that IS what they're saying. And when children hear that something is wrong, they think it is ok to act out against it. And kids being kids...I think you know where this is going. Sarah Silverman just posted a video that ends "They learned it from watching you." just like those old drug ads on TV. And it's true. Small acts of bigotry like denying equal rights based on sexuality will lead to bigger acts of bigotry like outing someone on the internet, making his life a living hell, or even physical assault. All of these things have occurred in our country, and they are not separate from the smaller instances of discrimination society accepts on a daily basis.

A patient today, struggling with sexuality himself, told me he was scared to come out because "homosexuality is the one thing that still has discriminatory laws against it." This is a teenager who is already a target of bullies for other reasons. He shouldn't have to go through this. This kid who has been bullied for years and knows what it's like would absolutely choose to be straight if he could - cause at least that would be one less target for the bullies. But it's not a choice. So instead, for now, it's a struggle. He has support as he goes through this, but not everyone does. This has to change. How many more people have to suffer, and some even die, before we get our act together? And how do we change this when those of us who are already on board with equality always hang out with other people who are on board...

I guess if you happen to stumble across this post, and I do not know you, and you are questioning your beliefs, please think about this. And if you are my friend and agree, but know people who don't, please don't stay silent. When we're silent we essentially allow the hate to be louder than us, and it leaves struggling kids feeling alone. And it's just not ok.