Or are you born that way?

I have a crazy Russian old lady neighbor. She lives below me. She is a hoarder, as evidenced by the things on her balcony, including but not limited to random raccoon tails. She takes her trash out in her underwear. She wears pink bathrobes with pink UGGs. And she thinks my dog needs to find a boyfriend (she always asks me if "Ava has found her Adam?").

But tonight beats them all. She was outside talking with a friend. I went outside to take Ava out to pee, and she stops me.

Russian neighbor: You have great body, you exercise a lot?

Me (confused and thinking maybe she is talking about my dog?): I'm sorry, what?

Russian neighbor: You (points to my stomach) you exercise a lot? Or are you born that way?

Me: Oh, uh....I just joined a gym actually. (Maybe this will change the awkward subject where this woman is pointing to my stomach and butt).

Russian neighbor: Oh, where is the gym? Is it a nice gym? Is it a big gym? How much you pay for the gym?

Me (answer her questions, although not sure where this is going)

Russian neighbor: You have boyfriend?

Me: No....

Russian neighbor: What?! Why not?!

Me: Uh, I guess I just haven't met the right person?

Russian neighbor: Oh, you and Ava. You need boyfriends.

Russian neighbor's friend: Oh, she is asking if you have a boyfriend because her son is single...

Russian neighbor (smiles and nods)

Me: Uh....ha, um. I have to go... BYE!