Things I learned in Vegas

1. If you go to a show on a Wednesday night at 10:30pm, chances are good that it will be a low-selling show, making them close down the balcony (where the cheapest seats are), and thus upgrading everyone with cheap tickets to the most expensive seats. When you get a student discount on top of the cheap ticket with low-sell upgrade, you end up with seats that you paid less than half price for...

2. At clubs, groups of guys will pay $100s of dollars for a table reservation with bottle service, while groups of girls will get in for free. I know this is not really news to most people, but I had never witnessed it with my own eyes before. Also note that when the groups of girls are not attractive, they do not get the special treatment of quick lines and free cover, even when they have big boobs and wear low-cut dresses.

3. As classy as some casinos try to be, they are only as classy as their clientele, and seriously...there are some majorly unclassy people in Vegas. I saw more douche-bag looking guys walking down the strip than I have seen in, perhaps my whole life. It was sort of amazing.

4. If you aren't paying attention, you could end up with someone else's room key. Was someone trying to hit on my friend Matt by slipping him their key? How would he know which room to go to? Was this their only key and they spent the night drunkenly attempting to talk the front desk into issuing them a new one?

5. In less than 48 hours you can: see a show, go to the pool for 5 hours, see lions (not to be confused with sea lions), eat fancy dinner, go to a ridiculous club, walk the strip and see flashy casinos, ride on a roller coaster, see the water show at Bellagio, and probably more things that I cannot quite recall. Why would anyone need to stay there longer?